5 Ways to Verify You're an Introvert

The scarily accurate Buzzfeed list  about "introvert problems" has been floating around the Web for a few days. Now, all the poor, misunderstood extroverts in this world have had time to formulate a rebuttal. Unfortunately, their list could also carry the hashtag #firstworldproblems* -- because it's just as insufferable.

In the wake of the original list, I now present this addendum. In the last week, I've suffered from each of these afflictions. If you find yourself related to any of them, remember: This is not about you, it's about me.

1. When you get more enjoyment out of grocery shopping and preparing the guacamole than you do from actually hosting the party.
2. When you come home from vacation and realize you kinda missed sitting alone in your cubicle for hours at a time. 
3. You'll go to Panera to use their wireless for 30 minutes rather than call your internet provider for tech support.
4. You're grateful that you have to wake up super early Saturday morning -- because it gives you an excuse to stay in on Friday night. 
5. When you think, "Hey, give Anthony Weiner a break. What's the problem with sexting, anyway? There's no risk of disease or pregnancy. Even better: You don't even have to engage in awkward small talk." 

*That reminds me: I put a new battery in my car and it erased my radio presets. Dammit. I guess I'll have to listen to Spotify Premium for a few days.