The Recovery Chronicles: Part 2

I'm at an intriguing crossroads. One path leads toward seemingly pain-free knees, by way of a more natural/minimal/barefoot/"good" running form. Along that path, there might be arch pain and a section of Two-Steps-Forward, One-Step-Back quicksand that wants to drag me deeper into a pit of injuries.

The other path is more familiar: it's lined with relatively cushy running shoes, the staples of my running wardrobe, begging me just to give them another chance.

So which kind of stubborness do I want to exhibit? Follow the road more traveled -- or choose the path that looks difficult, but might offer greater rewards in the long term?

Before I start, let me set some boundaries. I am not buying Vibrams ("toe shoes," "weird foot-shaped things," "VFFs"). I am not going to trot barefoot across Walnut Street Bridge. I don't want calloused, blackened feet. I will not try to convert anybody else, if this experiment works.

It makes sense that humans are capable of doing many things without the aid of shoes. We did it for the great majority of our existence. And I'd like to think that we haven't evolved to be weak, incompetent creatures over the last couple thousand years.

That said, our distant forebears didn't run recreationally in circles at 12 mph to exhaustion, nor did they run on urban concrete past crackheads and hypodermic needles for two hours to intentionally burn calories and feel superior to those lazy hobos. (In fact, it's amazing that we run to work off food, as they most likely avoided running -- thus wasting energy -- unless it was specifically to catch dinner.)

My immediate goal is consistency and injury prevention. Right now, that means 10 minutes of running plus 20 minutes of stretching, yoga or foam-rolling to keep the muscles healthy. Theoretically, the new running style will be taking care of the joints. I'm continuing my glucosamine regimen just in case.

Sunday, January 23

• 7-minute run: Up and down my street, wearing my XC flats. I feel slow, fat and clumsy; the asphalt is a jarring departure from the YMCA soccer fields. It offers, however, more feedback about what I'm doing right and wrong. The knee wasn't sore Monday. My left arch felt vaguely PF-ish. I did yoga and rolled it out with a tennis ball.

Monday, January 24

• 11-minute run: Up and down my street (two times), wearing my XC flats. It feels more natural today, but still not without hitches. My feet and ankles feel like they're working harder to keep me moving forward. I'm trying not to over-protect my heels, for fear of plantar fasciitis. I don't want my Achilles heel to be my...uhh...Achilles heel. There's a little soreness Tuesday morning, which I fight with yoga. Tuesday and Wednesday off.

The Recovery Chronicles; or, how I learned to keep a public journal and still be a man

In general, things are looking up! I'm easing back into short, short runs and trying not to feel guilty that my weekly total of 20 minutes is probably less time than I spent trimming the crazy straggler hairs in my beard.

I should probably keep a progress diary, in case something works extraordinarily well or causes a horrendous relapse. My plan is to gently push the limits of what I think it can handle. Based on recent experiences, two hours of standing at a bar and three hours of dancing is off limits. But 10-minute runs, even broken down into three parts, are good!

Monday, January 17

• 2,400-yard swim
• 10-minute run on the treadmill. I was a little disappointed not to run outside, but it was cold and icky, and I wanted this experiment to have airtight controls. The incline function was broken on the only available treadmill; I usually use a 1% grade to make it feel more natural, but what is less natural about running than doing it on a mechanical belt stationed in front of FOX News?

        I ran in my Mizuno Waveriders, trying to "feel" the ground and stay light on my

        feet. It didn't work well; I could feel the clumsiness of a stride that had

       atrophied for three months. But my knee no pain during the run, and no 

       (unusual) soreness Tuesday. Verdict: Success

Wednesday, January 19

• 2,500-yard swim
• 2-minute run on the treadmill. I know. I found one with working incline, and wore my Brooks Launch. Still felt awkward, and though my knee was OK, my old friend Morton('s neuroma) showed signs of a flare-up. So I put on my old XC flats and ran for 4:37 in the field outside.

        To the casual observer, I probably looked delusional running with outstretched 

        arms, head cocked over my shoulder, at a haulin'-ass pace. But in my mind, I 

        was running the most natural way possible: as if I were trying to catch a Hail Mary

        touchdown pass. What has more impetus than that? You have to run fast, run

        loose, run relaxed, run free. It felt great, until my thigh muscles reminded me that I

        shouldn't sprint yet.

        At home, I jogged for another four minutes without the screaming from my 

        hamstrings. Maybe a little Thursday and today, though. I can't really tell. I didn't 

        push it today. Verdict: Inconclusive

Friday, January 21

• 2,250-yard swim (just for the record)

I'll try again soon, with updates. Until then, run happy!

An analogical war of attrition

Reporters for CNN and others, while not directly blaming inflamed rhetoric and military metaphors for real-life violence, are denouncing its usage and trying to eliminate it from their mainstream vocabulary.

Bravo! For four years I languished  in J-school classrooms at the hands of Draconian print-media champions, learning of the perils of succumbing to cliched and lazy writing. But old habits die hard. In that same article,

Major Garrett...said that he's been trying to avoid some of the "pugilistic metaphors" and "bombastic clichés" that are prevalent not only on his former network but across cable news. Garrett said that he found himself "less and less journalistically inspired by the tone of the debate on cable and the brevity of the debate" on cable news and decided to return to print journalism. "I've been reprogramming myself ever since," he added.

That reprogramming includes being mindful of using clichés -- describing two political parties as being involved in "trench warfare," for instance. And "since Tucson," he said, "I've really tried to police myself."

Well, well, Garrett: you may want to bunker down and work to excise that verbal shrapnel. Military metaphors may have won this battle, and it appears they're well on their way toward winning the war.

You can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter"

How did this unfortunately named TV station get the scoop on Loughner's girlfriend? Check the headline:

Loughner’s High School Girlfriend Tells Tucson’s KGUN ‘I Don’t Think He’s Mentally Ill’




I thought it might be a joke or a PR stunt but it's painfully irony-free.

Oh, those crazy leftist media outlets and their subtle propagandizing!

Sarah Palin is a bloody 'orrible orator

Everybody is wondering why Sarah Palin chose the words "blood libel" in reference to the Giffords shooting. How could she insult and degrade an entire people at a time like this? Hasn't she read the Wikipedia page devoted to the history of the sanguine slander?

No, probably not, given her history of rhetorical gaffes. "The media," "the journalists and pundits," in a rush to defend themselves against Sarah's accusations of incitement to violence, have made a serious rookie mistake: they have given Palin too much credit by assuming she knew what she was talking about.

If you don't believe me, just say "blood libel" aloud. It stings, doesn't it? It almost feels wrong, like saying the "N-word" when asked to read Huckleberry Finn to your English class (if you were lucky enough to go to school before the 1950s).

And it just sounds deliciously bad. Everybody knows blood. Everybody knows libel. Everybody knows tragedy when they see it. Right?

So in the world according to Palin, it follows that:

If
Shooting => blood
and
Journalists => libel
then
Journalists who caused a man to shoot based on their incendiary column inches ==> BLOOD LIBEL OMG

Politicians have a tendency to sieze a recognizable phrase and distort it for their purposes. (Think "kabuki theatre" and "death panel" --  haven't heard either of those recently, have you? And we're all better for that.)

So don't buy into the story that Palin deliberately chose to throw Jews under the bus with her word choice. I believe she remembered hearing a catchy phrase that seemed appropriate for this especially heinous tragedy.

Never mind that she said killers alone are responsible for their actions, then one sentence later refudiated herself by blaming journalists.

If she can't get words and phrases correct, who really expects her to nail the logical part of her argument?

Regardless of political agendas and the media climate, random horrors like this will unfortunately happen and we should always be aware that we are not immune to violence; but we can all do our part to help minimize the damage.


I just hope all those hateful, venom-spewing, irresponsible left-wing journalists forget this gaffe (at least until the next election cycle -- but by then, they'll have new material to work with). What should matter is that Gabrielle Giffords is alive and recovering, and now that Jared Lee Loughner is locked up, there is one less real danger among us.