Check it Out

Rap and hip-hop have taken a serious turn for the worse.

I can say this without batting an eye, because there is a new book out: The Anthology of Rap. Everybody knows that anthologies are strategically released during dips in the market to try to create renewed interest, whether it's a DVD box set of "I Love Lucy" or 43 Miles Davis CDs, packaged in a trumpet case, for just $750 dollars-American. (Try to remember the last time you heard real jazz. See?)

Granted, Eminem still lights up any track he touches. And it'll be interesting to see what Lil' Wayne comes up with, fresh out of prison.

Blame Billboard for propagating weak flow and slant rhymes as Top-40 material. Blame whoever killed (or didn't!) Tupac and Biggie. Blame teachers for giving young kids on the streets, the would-be rappers, a passable education and a ticket out of the hard knock life.

But definitely blame will.i.am for having the balls to even record this verse:

We just had to kill it
We on the radio hotter than a skillet
We in the club making party people holla
Money in the bank, we be getting top dollar


I’m a big baller,
You a little smaller
Step up to my level, you need to grow a little taller

I’m shot caller
Get up off my collar
You a Chihuahua
I’m a Rottweiler

 Compare that to the farcical rap battle in "Malibu's Most Wanted" in which Jamie Kennedy, as B-Rad, rocks the mic with this gem:

I'd rather go fly a kite
Or go on a low-carb diet
That means no more pasta
Ya'll rappers is too slow,
And I'm kinda fasta

I got a watch
It's a Swee-otch
And when my mother does my clothes
To get 'em clean she uses blee-otch

In hindsight, "Malibu's Most Wanted" may have been a forecast of today's rap game. B-Rad's biggest blunder was the belief that his prose would amount to "a million-dollar rhyme, right thurr." Will.i.am seems to be suffering the same delusions of self-importance -- but unfortunately for consumers, his played-out raps really are money in the bank.