Yes, I Quote Myself

I'm aware this is one of the worst things I could do: Quoting myself out of context to prove that my grasp of the English language is, if not beyond compare, at least beyond the comprehension of people whose brains function normally.

But because it totally relates to the title of this blog, which also happens to be what I write when applications ask for my profession/industry, I have to do it.

Below is a transcript of an actual conversation that took place on 8-18-2011.

####

me: what up, Mighty Bro Young?

Drew: haha
Mighty Bro Young
where do you get this stuff from.. its amazing

me: how many times do i have to remind you of my status as a word magician?
a linguistic Houdini?
a linguini?

Drew: haha
im just blown away by your powers of awesomeness
 
###

By the Numbers: The Chattooga Century

Once or twice a year, I get the urge to commit some foolish test of my own endurance and willpower.

Last summer, it was my first Half Ironman, followed a month later by the 103-mile Cherohala Challenge. This year, on the strength of one poorly executed 4-hour ride that left me feeling worn and withered for a month, I decided to up the ante.

The 125 Chattooga Century presented an interesting challenge. By the time I decided to register, I didn't have any time to build up mileage. But what good is an adventure if you're already certain of the outcome?

Now, two days later, I want to examine my critical statistics in several key categories. A lot of these numbers are estimates, but I'll do the best I can.

The ride:

• 125 miles
• 7:10:00 moving time (Total ride time -- 8 a.m. to 4:15 p.m.)
• 17.25 mph average speed
• 5,482 calories expended
• 3,443 calories eaten

The food (calories):

• 8 bottles of water
• 7 bottles of Gatorade (1,050)
• 5 bananas (350)
• 4 Endurolyte capsules
• 2 peanut butter & jelly/honey sandwiches on Wonder bread (700)
• 2 packs of Fig Newtons (400)
• 2 Payday bars (480)
• 1 chocolate chip cookie (150)
• 1 Oatmeal Cream Pie (310)

The miscellany:

• I can ride 124 miles until my legs begin to cramp
• The number of Negative Thoughts Per Hour increases by 50% each hour after 60 miles
• There is no amount of hydration that can prevent my jersey from being a salt-streaked mess
• Reapplying chamois cream at each rest stop is a must

This jersey is not supposed to look "marbled"

It was both comforting and discouraging to be on familiar roads, knowing that the loop had taken me closer to my own house than to the eventual finish line 50 miles away in Georgia. All said, it was a fun ride that I would do again -- although now that I've done 125 miles, I don't have too much more to prove.

If you've ever been too exhausted to sleep, you'll understand how I felt Saturday night. But by Sunday morning I was back to feeling somewhat normal, if not "fresh." It's a good forecast for the River Gorge bike race coming up in a few weeks -- exactly when I should start seeing the fitness-building results of this Herculean ride.

Not the best I've ever felt