No way, Jose

That's it. The wait is over: Bigfoot was found this week. So was, apparently, a chupacabra. Here are links to both videos, to help you form opinions before I give you mine.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/15/bigfoot.body/index.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDrcOeAWeRs

Here's the long and short of it, the way I see things. The chupacabra was found in Texas; Bigfoot was found in North Georgia. Southern states, where "bigger is better" and people catch catfish that were (extends arms) "this big!!...but I had to throw it back before the line broke."

In other words, total BS. As much as I want it to be true, there's no way that two of our country's biggest myths/urban legends were found in the same week. And Bigfoot was found thousands of miles away from his supposed cold, snowy home. Who ever heard of a Sasquatch that likes humidity and red clay with all that fur?

I'm proud to be from the South: the place where rednecks put big monkey costumes in a freezer and take them to the Associated Press.

If it turns out to be real, I'll eat my words. Or revise the post, whichever is easier.